Intensive Outpatient Program


The Counseling Center for Sexual Health is pleased to introduce our Intensive Outpatient Program (IOP) for adult males struggling with sexually related issues. This program provides ten hours of therapy a week for each client; including both individual and group therapy. Group sessions will be offered Tuesday and Thursday from 6-9pm, and Saturday from 9-12pm. Individual therapy will be scheduled per client.

There are many benefits for participating in an IOP. Perhaps the largest benefit is the continued support and treatment while individuals integrate life events (work, school, socialization) into a sober lifestyle.

CCSH professionals are sex therapists certified through the American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors and Therapists (AASECT) trained and skilled in ways to assist people in gaining a deeper understanding of their own sexuality and how it affects their lives in relationships.

If you believe you or someone you know would benefit from our Intensive Outpatient Program or Psychological services, please call the Counseling Center for Sexual Health intake department (805)308-9800 Ext. 3.

-Darilyn Shano, M.S., MFTI

The Imperfections of Sex

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We all know that SEX sells and no one is perfect. Except that guy that just read this and said, “I’m perfect!” He may be right, but we have veered from the point. If no one is perfect and sex is everywhere, what happens when our imperfections and sex collide? …Trouble in paradise; which begs the next question, “Now what?” The options are vast and often break down into stages including, but not limited to: sheer panic, the blame game “it’s not me; it’s you,” abandonment, denial, grief, shame, anxiety, depression, etc. None of these emotions or stages sound appealing or paint a picture of health and it certainly is not what Hollywood is selling. Dang “fine print” can get you every time.

Wherever you may be in this cycle, the Counseling Center for Sexual Health is here to help. We treat a variety of sex related problems ranging from erectile dysfunction to addiction, infidelity, prostitution, compulsive masturbation, and online hookups.

It is a new day in the world of sex. The internet has made pornography more accessible than ever and having sex the easiest it has ever been to get. You do not even need to leave the comfort of your own home in order to have sex. But, even though we know that sex sells, there is another fun fact that “too much of a good thing is not a good thing.”

Suddenly a ritual has formed and before you know it, a routine ensues. For example, you come home from a stressful day at work. You need to unwind so you go through the paces of a hot meal or a couple drinks and some television. Next step, take a shower and get into some relaxed clothes. The computer sits at the desk, waiting for you to come join. The sound of the box fires up and the fan kicks in. A bright screen welcomes you to continue, invites you to begin the internet search. Your computer knows you so well, Google auto populates your search after a couple of letters entered. An abundance of images appear begging you to choose each one, but you skillfully and precisely select the perfect link for you and let the unwinding begin.

Night after night this continues, until it is no longer enough and the frequency increases. The location is no longer only the comfort of your own home, but it is the car, office and bathroom stall. The ritual has progressed, and not only has the frequency and location changed, but your physical health is changing as well with sores and chaffing from excessive friction.

This is no longer a coping mechanism for stress, but an impairment on your life. Masturbation is healthy, but history will repeatedly prove that too much of a good thing is not a good thing. The Counseling Center for Sexual Health can help you develop healthy coping strategies and remove the impairment. Call today and together we can work to build a healthier lifestyle.

-Darilyn Shano, M.S., MFTI

Treatment of Love Addiction


Last week we discussed the etiology of Love Addiction and how it involves brain neurotransmission processes similar to the effects of drug misuse. This week, we would like to discuss potential treatment option for love addiction.

Self-help books 

  • Gaining awareness and cognitive restructuring of love addiction-related disturbances.
  • Means of insight include learning to be aware of and discriminate between current love relationships and childhood love relationship inadequacies.
  • Discerning between passion, tenderness (caring), and commitment aspects of love may be essential to understanding the degree of health in one’s love relationships one may have.

Sex Love Addicts Anonymous (SLAA)

  • 12-Step group that most closely pertains to the romantic/emotional aspects, though other groups include Codependents of Sex Addicts (COSA), Sex Addicts Anonymous (SAA), and Sexaholics Anonymous.
  • In SLAA, members learn to surrender, one day at a time, their whole life strategy of, and their obsession with, the pursuit of romantic and sexual intrigue and emotional dependency; they learn to take care of their own needs before involvement with others; become willing to ask for help, be vulnerable, and learn to trust and accept others; work through the pain of low self-esteem and fears of abandonment and responsibility; and learn to feel comfortable in solitude.

Individual Therapy

  • Various individual-level therapy options might be considered. Motivational interviewing may help love addicts understand maladaptive functions of love objects. For example, one may learn through motivational interviewing techniques that their romantic relationships involve an ongoing pattern of issues surrounding trust and intimacy. One may then try to reduce the discrepant feelings by deciding to enter relationships more slowly.
  • Through therapy, one may learn that it may be most prudent to avoid all contact with the objects of the love addiction, particularly rejecting partners, and for one to become exposed to novel environments to facilitate new more healthy experiences.
  • The love addict should learn how to construct a self-support system through the use of guided healthy selftalk.This self-talk might guide one toward getting used to less intense, more constructive feelings toward self and others.
  • Self-management training should be considered to help one redirect one’s behavior. The therapist may establish short-term goals with a love addict that could include signing up for community courses (e.g., photography), participation in meditation or exercise, and making same sex non-sexual, non-romantic friends.

Group therapy

  • Group therapy techniques (e.g., use of psychodrama) may help one decrease illusions toward romantic partners, and help one understand one’s feelings toward long-term significant others such as one’s nuclear family. One may also learn through group interaction how to better participate in healthy romantic relationships, which may be less exciting but more rewarding in the long run.

-Katie McGrath, M.S.

© 2016 Counseling Center for Sexual Health. All Rights Reserved